IT IS NOT GOOD THAT THE MAN SHOULD BE ALONE
By John C. Carpenter
In the book of Genesis, we read the interesting story of
creation, including man: In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness
was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there
was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and
the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst
of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the
firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and
the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry
land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw
that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his
kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his
kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the
morning were the third day. And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and
let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give
light upon the earth: and it was so. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule
the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth. And to rule over
the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning
were the fourth day. And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly
above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters
brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them,
saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. And the evening and the morning
were the fifth day. And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast
of the earth after his kind: and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every
thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after
our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all
the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created
he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the
earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth
upon the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every
tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every
fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and
it was so. And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth
day (Genesis 1:1-31). Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God ended his
work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and
sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. These are the generations of the heavens
and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, And every plant of the field
before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth,
and there was not a man to till the ground. But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground. Andthe LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed (Genesis 2:1-8).
Later, we read,And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the
LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and
whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the
air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep
to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD
God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my
flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:18-25).
In
verse 18 above, the word alone is translated from the Hebrew word bad, which means separation, alone, apart, by self, or the only.
After God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul, God,
in His perfect wisdom, realized that it was not good for man to be alone, so God decided to make a help meet for the man He had created.
The word help is translated from the Hebrew word ezer, which means surround, protect, aid, or succour, while the word meet for him is
translated from the Hebrew word neged, which means part opposite, a counterpart, a mate, or other side. In verse 23 above, the wordwoman is translated from the Hebrew word ishshah, which means another, diverse, female, together, wife, or woman. God created a help
meet for Adam who was to surround, protect, aid, and succour him. This help meet was someone who could be considered a counterpart
or mate for the lonely man, and this helper for Adam was to be described as another, female, woman, or wife. In His wisdom, understanding,
and knowledge, God created for lonely man a complementary counterpart, a wife, woman or female, who was to aid, protect, and succour
the man which God had created.
Clearly, at the beginning of creation, Adam was all alone, and lonely. For many in these modern
times, loneliness is also a significant problem. It is important to recognize that the loneliness we are addressing in this article
is not at all related to any loneliness, silence, or solitude that may result from our intentionally seeking God in an effort to draw
closer to Him.
The Websters Collegiate Dictionary defines loneliness as being without company, cut off from others, and not frequented
by other humans, resulting in having feelings of bleakness or desolation. While some common definitions of loneliness describe it
as a state of solitude or being alone, loneliness is actually thought by many to be a state of mind. Loneliness is considered by many
to include social isolation, the general and often broad absence of contact with others, or the perceived subjective feelings of being
lonely. Loneliness can cause its victims to feel unappreciated, unrecognized, empty, isolated, alone, rejected, or unwanted. According
to some experts, many people who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form positive
connections with others. Someone has said that “isolation is being by yourself, while loneliness is not liking it.”
Loneliness
in America is not only found at high levels, but is on the rise as well. The statistics regarding loneliness are very disturbing.
Some reports suggest that as much as 36% of all Americans feel serious loneliness. This 36% claimed that they felt lonely frequently,
almost all the time, or all the time. These numbers included 61% of young people aged 18-25, and 51% of mothers with young children.
Another study found even more disturbing results. A 2019 survey found that 58% of Americans often felt like no one in their lives
knew them well. As a result of this lack of interconnectedness, many Americans are seeking a greater variety of relationships than
ever before. In 2020, 9 % of Americans reported not having friends or relatives that they could count on. Worldwide, loneliness is
also a problem. In the United Kindgom that number was 6%, in Denmank 4%, Iceland 2%, Israel 9%, Greece 21%, and Mexico 15%. In another
survey, 22% of Americans often or always felt lonely, while the same number for the United Kingdom was 23% and 9% in Japan. Loneliness
is often a problem among the elderly, as well: 44% of baby boomers sometimes or always feel lonely, while 16 % of baby boomers report
having no close friends. In another worldwide survey, 29 countries were examined for loneliness. Overall, 33% of adults across all
29 countries reported loneliness. Conversely, countries with the highest number of people who reported that they never or hardly ever
felt lonely were the Netherlands at 55%, Germany at 50%, and Russia at 49%.
At some point in time, believers and unbelievers
alike feel isolated and lonely, painfully so. As most of us know, loneliness can be caused by so many factors such as death, divorce,
living alone, no or low quality social relationships, family stress and conflict, over-working, home or job relocation, imprisonment,
insufficient adult to adult time, travel, depression or mental illness, shyness, school, military service, mental or physical disability,
disease, old age, or a thousand other contributors. Additionally, many behavioral, research, and medical scientists believe that loneliness
can pose a serious threat to our emotional, psychological, spiritual, social, and physical well being. In a nine year study, researchers
at the University of Calfornia found that loneliness has a greater negative impact on the death rate than smoking, drinking, eating,
and exercise. The study found that people without friends or a spouse had a death rate two times as high as those with social ties.
Clearly,
loneliness is a world-wide issue. So, is there a solution to loneliness? Some social scientists have suggested possible solutions
to lonelines should include providing people with information and strategies, such as public education campaigns, as well as other
strategies that can help the lonely cope with their loneliness and pain. These strategies can hopefully help those who are feeling
lonely identify and manage the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that fuel loneliness. Other scientists suggest building better
social structures in communities, as well as attempting to improve social relationships in health care, schools, work sites, and many
other areas. Some researchers suggest that the lonely join a class or club, volunteer, find online support, strengthen existing relationships,
purchase or adopt a pet, make an effort to talk to strangers, practice self care, or stay busy. If loneliness is associated with anxiety
and depression, or suicide, one should immediately seek psychiatric care from a licensed professional.
Because of the reality,
prevalence, and dangers of loneliness, it would be valuable to know what the Holy Scriptures have to say about loneliness. After all,
Holy Scriptures were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope (Romans 15:4);
and when we are feeling lonely, we certainly need patience, comfort, and hope. Therefore, in this article, let us examine some scriptural
examples of loneliness, take a look at God's scriptural provisions for loneliness, and examine what our attitudes should be towards
God's promises about loneliness.
JACOB WAS LEFT ALONE
First, what are some examples of loneliness found in the scriptures?
Jacob, for example, was all alone when he wrestled with God. Scriptures tell us, he [Jacob] rose up that night, and took his two wives,
and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok. And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and
sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone [Hebrew, bad, separation, apart, besides, by self, except, or only]; and there wrestled
a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh;
and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said,
I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall
be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed (Genesis 32:22-28).
In
another example, Elijah found himself alone in the wilderness, probably miles from others: Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done,
and withal how he had slain all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do
to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this time. And when he saw that, he arose,
and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongeth to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day's journey
into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough;
now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers (1 Kings 19:1-:4). Elijah was so distraught that he walked for
an entire day into the wilderness, and then, sitting down under a juniper tree, asked God to take his life.
Jonah was painfully
alone in the belly of the fish: Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his God out of the fish's belly, And said, I cried by reason of mine
affliction unto the LORD, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell [Hebrew, sheol, hades, the world of the dead, grave, or pit] cried
I, and thou heardest my voice. For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about:
all thy billows and thy waves passed over me. Then I said, I am cast out of thy sight; yet I will look again toward thy holy temple.
The waters compassed me about, even [specifically] to the soul: the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head.
I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from
corruption, O LORD my God (Jonah 2:1-6).
Often, leadership, secular or religious, can foster feelings of loneliness and isolation.
As an example, the responsibility and leadership Moses provided Israel resulted in Moses feeling all alone. We read, And it came to
pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening. And when
Moses' father in law saw all that he [Moses] did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest
thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even? And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people
come unto me to enquire of God: When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them
know the statutes of God, and his laws. And Moses' father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest [and your resulting loneliness] is
not good. Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art
not able to perform it thyself alone. Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for
the people to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God: And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew
them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do. Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such
as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers
of fifties, and rulers of tens: And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall
bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.
If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their
place in peace (Exodus 18:13-23).
In Genesis, Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the
day (Genesis 32:24). Sometimes, loneliness is even forced by God upon some: And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall
be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean. All the days wherein
the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be (Leviticus
13:45-46).
In his letter to Timothy, Paul referred to all those in Asia who had turned away from him and left him alone (2 Timothy
1:15). While speaking to the multitides, Jesus referred to John the baptist living alone in the wilderness (Matthew 11:7).
Within
the scriptures, widows and the fatherless are often thought to be lonely. Speaking through Moses, God warned, Ye shall not afflict
any widow [who is by herself], or fatherless child [who has no father and is alone]. If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry
at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall
be widows, and your children fatherless (Exodus 22:22-24). In the book of Acts, reference is also made to widows [who] were [alone
and] neglected in the daily ministration (Acts 6:1). David, the psalmist, taught that God is A father of the fatherless, and a judge
of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains:
but the rebellious dwell in a dry land (Psalms 68:5-6).
MY PRESENCE SHALL GO WITH THEE, AND I WILL GIVE THEE REST
When we
are feeling lonely, we must remember that not only do the scriptures provide us with ample instruction, but that God the Father loves
us, and will help and deliver us from our loneliness in His own way, and in His own time. The scriptures do not identify any instructions
about how to deal specifically with loneliness, but there are many general biblical principles and promises of God that we can apply
to the issue of loneliness. Let us take a look within the scriptures at some of the principles which God teaches us and wants us to
know and apply regarding loneliness; or any other need we may have, for that matter.
Obviously, one way to gain relief from loneliness
is to seek God the Father to the point that He knows us by name, to seek God the Father's presence, and to seek His way [desired path
or will] for us: Moses said unto the LORD, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou
wilt send with me. Yet thou hast said, I know thee by name, and thou hast also found grace in my sight. Now therefore, I pray thee,
if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way [Hebrew, derek, a road, a course of life, a mode of action, or pathway], that
I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people. And he said, My presence shall go
with thee, and I will give thee rest (Exodus 33:12-14). When we seek Him on a personal level, the Lord promises that His presence
shall go with us, and that He, therefore, will give us rest.
Next, the psalmist David wrote, Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up [Hebrew,nasah, to lift in a variety of applications, arise, advance, bear up, furnish, hold up, bring honor to, pardon, regard, and spare]my soul [vitality, strength, life]. O my God, I trust [have confidence] in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph
over me. Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause (Psalms 25:1-3). David teaches
us that in seeking deliverance for our afflictions, which could certainly include loneliness, we must ask God to advance, bring honor
to, and spare our souls. Then, we must trust in God's love, help and provision.
The scriptures also exhort us to hope in God
concerning any of our needs: But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness
and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD: I will make mention
of thy righteousness, even of thine only (Psalms 71:14-16). Even in our isolation and loneliness, we must never give up our hope in
God, we must declare His righteousness and salvation, we must praise Him more and more, and we must continue, without fail, to continue
to go and live in the strength of God, and not our own strength.
David also wrote these uplifting and strengthening words: For
as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear [Hebrew, yare, fearing, to morally revere, to dread
the consequences of our sinful, disobedient behaviors] him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions
from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that
we are dust (Psalms 103:11-14). In seeking deliverance and help in any circumstance, we must morally fear, or revere, the Lord, because
we are nothing but dust, and He is worthy of our reverence.
Clearly, the scriptures teach that seeking God's help through prayer,
general and specific, is beneficial to offset loneliness [and solve every other need we may have]. In His wisdom and supernatural
power, God can easily find us a companion, spouse, family, group, or friend. The psalmist wrote, God setteth the solitary in families:
he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land (Psalms 68:6). When we seek Him, He sets
us in relationships, including families, and delivers those of us who are in bondage to chains which are holding us back.
According
to the apostle James, the believer in Christ can help others, believers and unbelievers alike, with their loneliness by visiting those
who are alone. Additionally, in our own loneliness, we should not hesitate to seek the help and comfort of others, expecially fellow
believers. James wrote to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this,
To visit [Greek episkeptomai, to inspect in person, to go to see, to provide relief, and to look out for] the fatherless and widows
in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world (James 1:27). Visiting others who are painfully alone may be therapeutic
to them, and to those who are feeling lonely, as well.
As we might expect, according to King Solomon, in order to have friends
and pacify our loneliness, we must also be friendly and be desirous of having friends: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).
In Ecclesiastes, Solomon explains not only some of
the dangers of loneliness, but addresses the value of having family members or friends with which to interact: There is one alone,
and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied
with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but
woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat:
but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes
4:8-12). Solomon teaches us, that when are alone, there is no end to our labor, all our riches do not satisfy us, and there is no
one to help us get up when we fall. Conversely, when we have a conpanion, we can, through his or her help, obtain a good reward for
our labor, will have someone to lift us up if we fall, and are better protected with others in our lives.
When we are isolated
and having feelings of loneliness, when we have no one to talk to, no one to confort us, and are feeliing alone, helpless, and hopeless,
it is natural to feel significant fear. However, regarding our fear in times of need, the prophet, Isaiah, strengthens us with these
words from God: Fear thou not; for I AM with thee: be not dismayed; for I AM thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee;
yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee,
Fear not; I will help thee (Isaiah 41:10,13). Despite our painful loneliness, the believer in Christ has nothing to fear. God clearly
encourages us that we should not fear, neither should we be dismayed, for the all-knowing and all-powerful God of creation is with
us. He has promised to strengthen us, help us, and uphold us. In our seasons of loneliness, with the omniscient and omnipotent God
on our side, what is there to be afraid of?
It is also very possible that our periods of loneliness give God the opportunity
to move in our lives in ways that we do not understand at the time: Look what Jesus told His disciples: Now before the feast of the
passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which
were in the world, he loved them unto the end. And supper being ended, the devil having now put into the heart of Judas Iscariot,
Simon's son, to betray him; Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and
went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water
into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. Then cometh he to Simon
Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet? Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but
thou shalt know hereafter (John 13:1-7). We don't always understand what God is doing in our lonely seasons, but often God will show
us hereafter.
Seeking the presence and power of the Holy Spirit can certainly be a solution to loneliness. Jesus comforted Peter
and His other disciples with these words. Referring specifically to the movement and assistance of the Holy Spirit, I will not leave
you comfortless [because I will send the Holy Spirit]: I will come to you [through the presence and operation of the Spirit] (John
14:18).
Speaking through Paul, God instructed the Corinthian church, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for
what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14). Then Paul
immediately added, Wherefore come out from among them [unbelievers], and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean
thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians
6:17-18). Although Paul is referring here specifically to the believers' separation from unbelievers, God is still faithful towards
us – He will receive us, be a Father unto us, and not only make us His sons and daughters, but also treat us as such. Even in our
loneliness, the scriptures remind us that the believer is complete [Greek, pleroo, to make replete, to furnish influence, to satisfy,
to fill up, or to be fulfilled]in him, which is the head [seized, containing] of all principality [magistrate, power, principle, ruler] and
power [authority, jurisdiction, strength, superhuman control] (Colossians 2:10).
Speaking of the deliverance of the afflicted
soul, God the Father, through Isaiah, promises, shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here
I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; And if thou draw out
thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday:
And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered
garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58:9-11). In our affliction, we are to call upon the Lord and He
will answer and say, Here I Am. Then the Lord will guide us continually, satisfy our soul, and make us like a spring of water which
never fails to quench.
Regarding Jacob's dream, the scriptures instruct us that Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward
Haran. And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that
place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep (Genesis 28:10-11). And, behold, I am with thee, and will
keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done
that which I have spoken to thee of (Genesis 28:15). Never underestimate the spiritual value to going out from our own Beersheba,
and pursuing God in prayerful silence, intimacy, separation, and solitude. He may well respond, behold, I am with thee, and will keep
thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that
which I have spoken to thee of (Genesis 28:15).
Again, the psalmist David, reminds us with these words that God will deliver
us - Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me (Psalms 40:13). Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be
glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The LORD be magnified. But I am poor and needy [and lonely]; yet the
Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God (Psalms 40:16-17). First, we see that believers
in Christ can rightly expect God to deliver and help us, and, secondly, for this reason, we should be glad in the Lord, and continually
magnify the Lord.
There are also times in which God brings others into our lives to prophetically clarify God's purpose and will
for our circumstances, including our times of loneliness. God used a prophet named Agabus to clarify His will for the apostle Paul:And when we had finished our course from Tyre, we came to Ptolemais, and saluted the brethren, and abode with them one day. And the
next day we that were of Paul's company departed, and came unto Caesarea: and we entered into the house of Philip the evangelist,
which was one of the seven; and abode with him. And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy. And as we tarried
there many days, there came down from Judaea a certain prophet, named Agabus. And when he was come unto us, he took Paul's girdle,
and bound his own hands and feet, and said, Thus saith the Holy Ghost, So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man that owneth this
girdle, and shall deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles. And when we heard these things, both we, and they of that place, besought
him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only,
but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus (Acts 21:7-13). When we are experiencing loneliness, it is important to
listen prayerfully to others who God may be using to help us to discern God's will for our lives.
Paul wrote to the church in
Rome, ...the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities [including our bouts of loneliness]: for we know not what we should pray for as we
ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth
what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the God. And we know that all things work
together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans 8:26-28). When we do not understand
why God allows the infirmities [including loneliness] that we have at any given point in time, we must remember that the Holy Spirit
is always at work within our bodies, hearts, spirits, and minds. Although hard to acknowledge, we should strive to remember, and believe,
that all things, including our loneliness, work together for good to them that love God, and are called according to His will and
purpose. God, through the scriptures, gives us this promise.
In his letter to the church in Corinth, the apostle Paul wrote,
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath
not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves
to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and
not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself [am unmarried]. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one
after this manner, and another after that (1 Corinthians 7:1-7). Paul explains that he is not only unmarried, but that his staste
of being unmarried is a gift from God that will assist him in his ministry for the Lord. As Paul explains, the Father in heaven gives
gifts to one man after this manner, and another gift to another man after that manner. As difficult as it may be to accept, God the
Father may have a heavenly purpose for our loneliness; and we should certainly seek Him about this possibility.
In his second
letter to the church in Corinth, the apostle Paul made a point which many might find difficult to understand or accept - the possibility
that God is using our suffering to benefit others. Paul wrote, Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father
of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in
any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation
also aboundeth by Christ. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring
of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope of
you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. For we would not, brethren,
have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired
even of life: But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead (2
Corinthians 1:3-9). According to the scriptures, we should also consider the possibility that our loneliness may be to the consolation,
and salvation, of others. Paul also testifies that in whatsoever suffering we may have, it is essential that we trust not in ourselves,
but in God Who has enough power to raise the dead.
Paul also wrote the church in Corinth these challenging verses: ...lest I
should be exalted [with pride] above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh,
the messenger of Satan to buffet [Greek, kolaphizo, to rap with the fist, to curtail, to chastise, to reserve for affliction, to humble]me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto
me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my [God's] strength is made perfect [Greek, teleioo, accomplished, complete, consummated,
consecrated, fulfilled] in [man's] weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ
may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's
sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Here, Paul explains that sometimes God the Father gives us, or
allows us to have, an infirmity, our own thorn in the flesh, in order to humble us. In man's weakness and infirmity, God can reveal,
complete, and fulfil His own strength to us, in us, and through us. Paul sensibly concluded that he would rather glory in his own
infirmities so that the power of Christ might rest on him, rather than not have the infirmity as well as not have the power of God's
presence and working in his life. Similarly, our suffering with loneliness may be our own thorn in the flesh, so to speak, which allows
God and Christ the opportunity to reveal and manifest their mighty power in and through us, a manifestation which is always to our
benefit.
Paul wrote the believers in Philippi: Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge
of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be
found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness
which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made
conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead (Philippians 3:8-11). Paul considered
the suffering of all things nothing but loss in order to gain the excellency of knowing Christ, knowing the power of his resurrection
[via the Holy Spirit], and suffering as Christ suffered.
Later, in his letter to the church in Philippi, Paul added these words:I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked
opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content [Greek, autarkes,
self complacent, to consider sufficient what I have, contented]. I know both how to be abased [Greek, tapelinoo, to be depressed,
to be humiliated, brought low, be humbled], and I know how to abound [Greek, perisseuo, to be in excess, to superabound, excel, have
abundance, exceed, increase]: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to
suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:10-13). Paul learned how to be self complacent
and contented with whatever state he was in at any point in time, whether he was humiliated and humbled, or whether he had abundance
and excess. Paul learned that no matter what state he was in, he found, through his own personal experiences, that he knew he could
do all things through Christ who strengthened him. When we have seasons of isolation, loneliness, and are feeling impotent, we should
strive to remember that we, too, as Paul, can endure whatever state we are in.
In his letter to the Hebrews, the apostle Paul
gives us some instruction which most, if not all, of us dread hearing. Paul explained that our heavenly Father can and does sometimes
use our pain and suffering to chasten and humble us for our own profit and holiness: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth
every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth
not. But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers
of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits,
and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers
of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable
fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby (Hebrews 12:6-11). When feeling lonely, we should prayerfully attempt
to determine if He is chastening and scourging us, as Paul taught, for our own profit, so that we lowly and sinful humans might be
partakers of His holiness.
IF ANY OF YOU LACK WISDOM, LET HIM ASK OF GOD
When we are feeling the excruciating pain of loneliness,
or any other issues we have, all we have to do is to prayerfully seek the Lord. We should have no doubt that our heavenly Father,
His Son, and His Holy Spirit certainly have the answers that we seek and need. So, what should our attitudes be about God's promises
regarding such issues as loneliness [or a thousand other issues we may have]? Let us review a few verses.
When leaving Mount
Sinai, God told Moses, ...Depart, and go up hence, thou and the people which thou hast brought up out of the land of Egypt, unto the
land which I sware unto Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, saying, Unto thy seed will I give it (Exodus 33:1). Moses, the prophet and
servant of the Lord refers to a most uplifting promise from God the Father: Moses said unto the LORD, See, thou sayest unto me [Moses],
Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me. Yet thou [the Lord] hast said, I know thee by name,
and thou hast also found grace in my sight. Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, thatI may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people. And he [The Lord] said, My presence
shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest. And he [Moses] said unto him [the Lord], If thy presence go not with me, carry us not
up hence. For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? Is it not in that thou goest with
us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth. And the LORD said unto Moses, I
will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name. And he said, I [Moses] beseech
thee [the Lord], shew me thy glory (Exodus 33:12-18). In our seasons of suffering, we must pray that we have found grace in God's
sight; and petition God to remember that we are members of His favored nation and people. Without doubt, God will respond that His
presence shall go with us, and that He will give us rest; and then we can be assured that, as with Moses, God will answer our prayers,
remind and comfort us that we have found grace in His sight, and that He personally knows us by name. As Moses conversed with God
in his time of need, in our time of need, we can and should converse with the all-knowing and all-powerful God of creation. If we
think that conversing with God in our times of need is not going to be comforting, I don't know what would.
Speaking of Abraham,
the apostle Paul wrote, For the promise, that he [Abraham] should be the heir of the world, was not to Abraham, or to his seed, through
the law, but through the righteousness of faith. For if they which are of the law be heirs, faith is made void, and the promise made
of none effect: Because the law worketh wrath: for where no law is, there is no transgression. Therefore it is of faith, that it might
be by grace; to the end the promise might be sure to all the seed; not to that only which is of the law, but to that also which is
of the faith of Abraham; who is the father of us all. (As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom
he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were. Who against hope believed
in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. And being not
weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sara's
womb: He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded
that, what he [God] had promised, he [God]was able also to perform (Romans 4:13-21).
The scriptures clearly teach us that when
suffering with any difficulty, we must have faith in God, and prayerfully seek God for answers. We must also, against all hope, believe
in hope, and know that whatsoever He promises us, we must not stagger at the promises of God because of our unbelief. We must remain
strong in faith, giving glory to God, and be fully persuaded that what God has promised us, He is able to bring to pass. Ask God for
a promise about your painful circumstances, wait with patience upon His answer, and believe that what He promises to you, He will
fulfill in your life. If we ask Him, He will help us in His own time and will. It is His way, and He is faithful; but we must ask
and have faith, trust, and patience.
To the twelve tribes scattered abroad, the apostle James wrote, My brethren, count it all
joy when ye fall into divers temptations [including the suffering and pain of loneliness] [Greek, peirasmos, to prove, to discipline,
provoke, enter into adversity]; Knowing this, that the trying [testing of our trustworthiness] of your faith worketh patience [Greek,hupomone, cheerful and hopeful endurance, constancy, patient waiting]. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect [Greek,teleios, to complete, to grow in mental and moral character, to become complete] and entire [perfectly sound, whole], wanting nothing.If any of you lack wisdom [on how to deal with loneliness], let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not;
and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with
the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all
his ways (James 1:2-8). Through James, God gives us some very clear instructions about how to handle our feelings of loneliness. First,
the Lord teaches us that when we fall into suffering and pain, it can be a testing of our trustworthiness, endurance, and constancy
in our relationship with the Lord. This testing is valuable to our emotional, mental and spiritual growth and development, and has
the goal of making us whole and complete in Christ. Second, the Lord instructs us that if we lack wisdom of any type regarding our
testing, God will answer us, provided we ask in faith; that is, believing that what God answers us, He is not only able to bring to
pass, but will bring to pass. James summarizes that to ask God for wisdom and help, and not have faith that what He answers us will
come to pass, reflects that we are unstable in our faith. Let us ask God for wisdom, and have faith that He will fulfill His promises
to us.
In His wisdom and foreknowledge, the Lord knew It is not good [Hebrew, ob, a good thing, well, best, bountiful, be in
favour, fine, pleasant, prosperous, welfare] that the man should be alone. It is not only not well, fine, nor pleasant for man to
be alone – it is clearly not the best thing for him. If we experience the pain of loneliness, we must realize that God is still in
control and may choose to heal our pain in His own time and way, or He may choose to use our pain to help us grow in Him, or He may
even use our pain to comfort and instruct others. In any case, as God reveals and fulfills His perfect will in our lives, we should
remember the inspiring and uplifting words of the psalmist, David: He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall
not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye
people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us (Psalms 62:6-8). He alone is our salvation, and we should pour out
our heart to Him. AMEN.